


How to Save a Life

by elbeen



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 06:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3109061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elbeen/pseuds/elbeen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song-fic set during season 2. Possible trigger warning for attempted suicide, but nothing directly mentioned, just inferred.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Save a Life

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written in 2006 and is set to the song “How to Save a Life” by The Fray. It was written when I was experimenting with different fic styles (this style obviously being “song fic”) It’s set during early season 2 of Grey’s Anatomy and the first part is from George’s point of view. Which doesn’t exactly make sense, since if you strictly follow the song lyrics it seems that the conversation is directed at a male, but whatever! The second part is from Meredith’s point of view.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Grey’s Anatomy characters, nor do I own The Fray’s song lyrics.

_Step one, you say, "We need to talk."_

_He walks, you say, "Sit down. It's just a talk."_

_He smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through_

_Some sort of window to your right_

_As he goes left and you stay right_

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came_

 I walked in the front door and immediately saw her. She was standing by the kitchen table, gripping a chair and staring straight ahead.

“Meredith?”

No answer.

When did it get this bad?He wondered.

“Meredith!”

She looked over to him. “Oh, George, sorry. I didn’t notice you were there.” She smiled, but it seemed forced.

I haven’t seen her smile, _really_ smile, since McDreamy’s wife showed up.

“George, why do you have that look on your face?”

“Mer, sit down. We need to talk.”

She hesitates for a minute, but then sits down.

“What happened?” She asks, nerves evident in her shaky voice.

“Nothing. I just wanna chat. You know, see how you’re doing? Uh, I know it’s been hard on you lately.”

She attempts to smile. I know it’s just to humor me and make me think she’s okay.

I just keep looking at her. Staring at her eyes that have now lost the sparkle I’d always loved.

_Let him know that you know best_

_'Cause after all you do know best_

_Try to slip past his defense_

_Without granting innocence_

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_

_The things you've told him all along_

_Pray to God, he hears you_

_And I pray to God, he hears you_

“George, I know you think the way I cope with things is unhealthy sometimes. And you might be right. But it’s what I have to do to get by right now. Don’t worry, I know what I can handle.”

“I know, but Mer –“

“No, it’s fine. Shepherd was the one who did wrong this time, not me. He lied. He’s the one who has to fix this between us.”

We didn’t end up having much of a conversation. She told me she was fine enough, I pretended to believe her, and she thanked me for caring. I think I need to talk to Cristina. This is weird, even for Meredith. I’m worried. It’s late though; I can call her in the morning. Maybe I should’ve gone to her in the first place instead of trying to talk to Meredith. I don’t think it did any good. The person who really should be coming to her is Shepherd; this is his fault.

I decided to watch TV for a while. Since Meredith and Izzie were in their rooms, I could watch something besides the newest Lifetime movie. I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Izzie was shaking me.

“George, it’s 5am, we have rounds soon! Get up!”

I nodded, and opened my eyes slowly, not ready to wake up. Then I realized what she said and I jumped up and ran up the stairs to get ready. I passed Meredith’s room and didn’t hear any noise so I thought I’d knock.

“Mer, get up, we’re gonna be late!” I called before dashing down the hall to the bathroom.

I hopped in the shower, then grabbed my bag and ran back down the hall. I turned around after I passed Meredith’s room. There was still no noise and no light seemed to be on.

“George, Meredith, let’s go!” Izzie called from downstairs.

I tried to open Meredith’s door, but it was locked. She hardly ever locks it. What’s going on?

“Iz! Come up here!”

“No, we’re already late!”

“It’s Meredith. I think something’s wrong!”

“George!” Izzie exclaimed, frustrated, but she ran upstairs anyway.

She tried the knob. “The door’s locked.”

“What should we do?”

“Mer?” she called through the door. She turned back to George. “I don’t know. Maybe there’s an inappropriate man in there and she’s embarrassed.”

“No. She definitely went up alone last night. She was acting really weird too.”

“So you think something’s wrong?” She started to look worried.

I nodded. “I’m gonna kick the door in, okay?”

Izzie looked half-amused, half-skeptical.

“George! Just use the spare key.” She rolled her eyes and returned a minute later with the key.

Neither one of us expected to see this. Meredith was lying on her bed, an empty bottle of tequila on the night table, and pills scattered around it.

Izzie panicked. “Call Bailey, call Shepherd, call the Chief, call someone!”

I dialed Dr. Shepherd’s trailer, but Addison answered and said he was already at the hospital. I decided to call Seattle Grace for an ambulance instead.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_As he begins to raise his voice_

_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

_Drive until you lose the road_

_Or break with the ones you've followed_

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

 

Looking out the passenger window, I can hear him singing along to whatever song is on the radio. I think he’s trying to ease the tension, but it’s not going to work. I’m not sure why I even agreed to go on this drive with him.

“Meredith, the whole point in going for this ride was to get you to talk to me since you obviously haven’t been doing that at the hospital, but I can’t even get you to look at me.”

“So, talk, Derek. I don’t have anything much to say.”

“Meredith, why are you being so difficult?” The frustration was evident in his voice as its volume rose. He ran one hand through his hair and sighed.

“I’m not,” I replied, calmly. “You’re the one who has a choice to make.”

“Her or me,” I whispered as I turned back to the window thinking, ‘Now is his chance. He can say that he made a mistake by lying and he’s leaving her for me. Or maybe he’ll say he’s not the same man who left Addison in New York and who I met in Joe’s bar, that he’s changed and wants to work on his marriage.’

Unfortunately, he didn’t speak again until we came to a dirt road the lead to a state park. “I guess we should head back.”

I nodded, not sure what the point of this drive was anymore, anyway.

Not quite twenty-four hours later, Derek headed to the ambulance entrance to help unload a patient.

“Female, late 20’s, possible OD. Resuscitated in transport, but barely holding on.”

He felt his heart skip a beat when he saw her, “Meredith?!”

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_


End file.
